I spent the whole day in mental health first aid training on Tuesday, it was extremely exhausting and overwhelming for me. As a person who has struggled with mental health and suicidal thoughts, the topic is such an eggshell experience. I realise now that i’m scared of being triggered more than anything else.
That same evening, I also had bible study, it so happened that the conversations at bible study was around the same thing, mental health and the concept of a prospering soul. I had a conversation with a friend of mine afterwards and she was quite taken back by what she called a coincidence. I had already talked to her after work about how the training made me feel, and was now explaining that because of bible study I now feel much better.
My friend then said something that I have heard so many times and just used to dislike, she said “I wouldn’t have thought that something like that would bother you, you always seem to be so strong and handle everything well”…..
and so here we are talking about mental health, and identity..
When I started writing the idea of being anonymous was all I needed to be sold into the idea. I have been blogging for as long as my oldest daughter, 8 years, nearly 9 years..and in that whole time I haven’t been open about who I am.
As I’m growing into becoming, I’m learning to not be so afraid of my past and so afraid of rejection, thereby learning to be open and vulnerable about my journey. So as I sit here planning my blog and the vision I have for it, the question came up of a domain name. I want to use my name, – queue the identity battles. See I have been known by 2 names all my life.Continue reading Introducing myself – Identity battles→
I’ve just been sitting here thinking about writing my next post, I have a few posts I could do and a few things I can talk about, but I also really don’t want to. It doesn’t quite feel right to do that.
What I thought I should talk about is how I feel right now. For some weeks now I feel “emptied out”, the reason I use the term emptied out rather than the more simpler “empty” is because the way I feel doesn’t quite have the negative connotation that emptiness contains, and more importantly the context and process I walked through to get here has quite the significance.
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
IT’S WHO I AM 