Category Archives: Self development

Living my best life- the deception

On my last post I spoke about the biggest lie I have believed. Since then I got to thinking about yet another lie of this world one that I see a lot of people believing and living in and i myself sometimes struggle with, despite knowing better.

Living my best life.

It’s obvious that everyone wants to live the best life that the can, and I do believe that God wants us to have the best life, he says in Ephesians he has plans to prosper and not harm us, plans to give us hope and a future.

The issue I have now is the context within which the term “living my best life” has been used especially in comparison to the concept of a Christian life. Continue reading Living my best life- the deception

The biggest lie I ever believed….

I’m going to get right into it. Its taken me this long to get the courage to talk about this…

For as long as I can remember my biggest problem with the world, with my life was that things were not easy. I started having ungodly thoughts (as Mom would put it) from a very young age, they mainly involved wanting to be non existent… I guess death wasn’t something I could fully comprehend so I just wanted, wished rather,  to not exist. These progressed to being suicidal thoughts and I have been so close to attempting suicide 4 time in my life.

In the interest of full disclosure, the last time I really struggled with suicidal thoughts was nearly 13 months ago, it took me a whole 10 hours to drive what should have been 5 hours just to get home. It took praying, worship and on the phone prayers an conversations from one of my spiritual guides. I had to stop that many times and I had to drive that slow because high speeds and a motorway full of trucks just seemed like an easy way out. I could feel the battle, the friction between life and death so strongly inside of me… just because it was all too hard.

Continue reading The biggest lie I ever believed….

Desires, Interpretation and Longing for God.

Firstly, apologies for the long absence. I took some time off to enjoy a well deserved holiday with my daughters and also visit some of my family in Africa.

My trip home was quite a bitter sweet experience, one that was so different from all the other times. And the topic of today was the very reasons.

Continue reading Desires, Interpretation and Longing for God.

The danger in easy and simple

When I was 14 years old I had my first boyfriend. Things were relatively easy and innocent back then….until they were not. I remember a time we were faced with a looming end to our relationship he said to me during a conversation “you make everything sound simple and easy“.

I remember spending most of my teenage and early adult life confused as to what that means and how can simple and easy be bad.

As I look back at my life now, I realise how “easy” can be dangerously misleading.

Continue reading The danger in easy and simple

The pit of Fear and Doubt

Hi All, how is everyone been doing? It’s been that weird changing of the season time. I wonder if I’m the only one who just feel a bit unusual when seasons change.

Anyway some time ago I wrote a post about disobedience and not doing what you are supposed to do, you can find it here. Unfortunately I’m here to confess that nothing has changed yet. It’s really got me thinking about the difference between knowing and doing….again. In all honesty I am drowning in doubt and fear.

Continue reading The pit of Fear and Doubt