Category Archives: faith

Emptied Out – Intentionally Part 1

I’ve just been sitting here thinking about writing my next post, I have a few posts I could do and a few things I can talk about, but I also really don’t want to. It doesn’t quite feel right to do that.

What I thought I should talk about is how I feel right now. For some weeks now I feel “emptied out”, the reason I use the term emptied out rather than the more simpler “empty” is because the way I feel doesn’t quite have the negative connotation that emptiness contains, and more importantly the context and process I walked through to get here has quite the significance.

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Living outside his will ( God reality TV)

I was listening to a message the other day and the pastor said,

“We create environments then find ways to survive those environments rather than end them”

I laughed thinking well I guess humanity is creating a reality show for God. It’s real, for us, but not really what God has planned for us, and much like a reality show, not really what should or needs to happen and often times we behave this way for the sake of entertainment… Continue reading Living outside his will ( God reality TV)

I knew but didn’t understand (Part 1 understanding God’s love)

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Growing up my great grandmother had this verse in her living room, which means I saw it and read it every single day. It is most probably the first verse of the bible I ever knew. Followed closely by the Lord’s Prayer.

It dawned on me only a few days ago that I knew this verse by heart, you could wake me up from a deep sleep and I would tell it to you, it’s that engraved in me. Sadly, that’s all it is, repetition of what I read, I knew the verse and I knew what it said but I never really understood what it means.

Continue reading I knew but didn’t understand (Part 1 understanding God’s love)

My Testimony is my…But God

The journey of my redemption isn’t an awfully eventful one, I was not found almost dead, I hadn’t lost everything to the point of eating dusk.

No my story of redemption began in my bedroom, laying in my bed cursing morning sickness whilst at the same time enjoying the baby kick, my oldest daughter having just been picked up by her driver and probably already at school.

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Right of passage

For some time now I have been battling with the thoughts of being a testimony. I can’t be a testimony, I kept telling myself, but here I am writing this.

I used to tell myself all my experiences were some sort of right of passage, but as I try to move through to the next phase of my life I realise they were more of a path of destruction, a load much to heavy for me to bear and memories that feel a lot like an electric chair designed to torture me.

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