I started doing this thing where I put draft titles for posts to do later on…this was one of them, be unoffendable. But for the life of me I cannot remember why I wanted to talk about it…coincidentally this week just became about offences and insecurities.
Before I go on…it was my oldest daughter birthday. The last 9 years are truly a blur in my own eyes. I cannot tell anyone how I went from a deeply depressed hungover 19 year old girl who’s just found out she’s pregnant to being a financially stable and independent, successful career in law and relatively okay mother. It can only be God. Truly!!!
Continue reading Be Unoffendable And what to do when that fails →
Before I get into today’s post can I just say, this weekend is our 1 year anniversary of us moving from the city for some good old country living. I have been feeling so many different emotions over this. I wanted to share a post surrounding this but I haven’t been able to unpack what I’m feeling yet.
Instead I decided to talk about insecurities and perspective. I think most people, whether they know it or not have some sort of insecurity. A really big one for me has always been about being unwanted, unloved and just not good enough for people...it’s one I inherited from a very young age.
Continue reading The view from my insecurities →
(can’t help noticing my writers juices comes up at the beginning of the year)
For the last few days I have been thinking about this, literally, the phrase has been going through my mind, I m a black girl in a white man’s world. You hear about the world is a man’s world and how white people have priveledges etc. As an African girl who pretty much grew up in a stable African country without much exposure to the huge racism and disadvantages African American and other African people have been exposed to, I never really contextualised it. It was always just another historical phrase I hear, understand but never really think of it for more than a couple of minutes.
Now here I am, a year into my career as a solicitor/business owner and I’m really feeling like a black woman in a white man’s world. My blackness is so obvious and almost more obvious than my presence…if that even makes sense. Every room I walk into, I’m not just noticed as the black woman who just walked in, but now I have to really prove that I deserve to be there, that I know what I’m doing (after I prove I’m the right person, not the help).
I’m aware that most women have to deal with the invisible glass ceiling, it’s frustrating and its real I’m ashamed to say in my naive youth I used to think that just talk but its real, and unfortunately, I’m not immune to it either. But you know what really frustrates me about being a woman in a man’s world, especially this world, it the idea that you can have it all. But let’s face it, you cant have it all..the minute you become a mother, which most of us do, you really CANNOT have it all, no matter what you think the man has the upper hand, put simply he can be at work till 12 minutes whilst you have to be home with the kids by 6pm?
But I have to say, the journey is rather interesting.