On my last post, I did not get to the no-so-fun part of being emptied out. You see whilst being emptied out doesn’t make you feel void, it often feels idle. And in a world that has a busy-ness culture that can be a dangerous position to be in.
When I reached the stage of being emptied out, my first reaction -for lack of a better word, was to want to do something, I felt so much drive to be something, the expectation of what I’m going to do next, where my life is going and what it’s going to be like was almost too much..it felt a lot like this ‘wait’, that nearly every Christian talks about
Its almost comical because I have seen and heard a lot of people talk about their waiting season, and what to do while waiting on God, most time I understood what they said, the basics of it, like they waiting on something better to happen, but I never really knew exactly what they meant, coupled by the miss-independent-go-getter-attitude I have that says “i don’t wait for things to happen i make them happen.”
And now I’m in a season of waiting, I’m not waiting for ‘something’ to happen, i’m not waiting for a good job, a husband (although one of those would be nice) or anything in particular. However I have become so cautious in the state I am, to not get carried away with filling my life with stuff, so I’m waiting to be filled by the Holy spirit.
So what does it mean to be filled?
To me this simply means;
- I’m waiting for God’s guidance
- I’m waiting for his commands
- I’m waiting to do that which is pleasing to him and is aligned with his Will
- most importantly, I don’t just do whatever i want.
Most people know the bible says we can do all things through God who provides. I have heard a lot of messages being preached about God providing, God giving us the victory in our battles and God making it all happen and work together.
All good, truthful messages, but I bet most people like I did, took that on and said,
“right, i want to do 1,2,3 so God, provide, make sure I don’t fail.”
What we sometimes miss is that God is supposed to do all those things for his purpose and for his will.
God wants us to have wisdom, knowledge and understanding. God wants us to do his Will more than anything else. When we allow him to fill us with his spirit we are able to know what his will is, to have the wisdom and understanding to follow his commands and to answer his calling on our lives.
I for one have not perfected this, I’m consciously aware of the fact that i need to be filled by God, but I’m in no way immune to the pull of the world. I spent most of my adult life, following my heart and doing what feels good, and i don’t think i have to tell anyone that what feels good isn’t always what is good.
So my current state; I’m emptied to be filled by God and struggling to stop myself from filling myself. And this is literally been my prayer lately, ‘God stop me from interfering‘. Because in most cases, we are our own worst enemy, we are what is holding us back from reaching our God destiny.
My strategy for my wait so far has been to embrace the moments I have. Ever since I decided to be more present and intentional in what I do, I have seen so many things in my life, infact been able to enjoy my life more, without the pressure of onward looking. There is something to be said about living in the moment and not living in the future…maybe I will talk about this some other time…for now we wait.