When I started writing the idea of being anonymous was all I needed to be sold into the idea. I have been blogging for as long as my oldest daughter, 8 years, nearly 9 years..and in that whole time I haven’t been open about who I am.
As I’m growing into becoming, I’m learning to not be so afraid of my past and so afraid of rejection, thereby learning to be open and vulnerable about my journey. So as I sit here planning my blog and the vision I have for it, the question came up of a domain name. I want to use my name, – queue the identity battles. See I have been known by 2 names all my life.
My birth name is Blessing, however growing up I have been known as Tina. Growing up in a small village and living a block from my school, the name Tina is what I went by for almost 12 years of my life. My family knew me as Tina and that easily translated to the entire community and school. While living in Botswana there was only 1 occasion spanning 2 years where at school and only at school I was known by my first name.
It wasn’t until I moved to Australia that I started hearing the name Blessing regularly. So now I have dual identities, and unfortunately moving into adulthood, my two identities have created a divide in my life. Each name has built its own club, group of friends, personality, attitudes and identity and I have learnt to live with the two separate identities.
The Road less traveled has led me to this point where I no longer want dual identities, I want to be one person, embrace all my flaws, quirks, background, culture and basically be authentically me.
But what do I do? both names have such a significant meaning I feel like picking one is denying the other… which brings up an interesting conundrum and not for the first time either, feeling like embracing one thing means denying another, is it really?
Can I be a Motswana and Australian at the same time?
Can I be a proud and happy single mother and be a Christian?
Can I be an introvert and like public speaking?
Just to name a few….
As I thought about this I had a crazy idea, maybe I need to take this to God and find out what he prefers my name to me, maybe both names represent a particular season of my life, a particular part of me, I mean so many characters in the Bible had different names as they moved from one season to another
Abram – Abraham, Sarai – Sarah, Jacob became Israel, Simon became Peter.
And as I write these out, I could hear it in my spirit, my God given name is Blessing, my worldly given name was Tina.
So allow me to introduce my self, my name is Blessing, I am recovering from obtaining my identity from anyone and everything else except the one who formed me, I am a single mother to two sweet little girls and most of day time is spent at work, a job I love with all of my being, public interest law…