I’ve just been sitting here thinking about writing my next post, I have a few posts I could do and a few things I can talk about, but I also really don’t want to. It doesn’t quite feel right to do that.
What I thought I should talk about is how I feel right now. For some weeks now I feel “emptied out”, the reason I use the term emptied out rather than the more simpler “empty” is because the way I feel doesn’t quite have the negative connotation that emptiness contains, and more importantly the context and process I walked through to get here has quite the significance.
Feeling empty tends to have this meaning behind it that something is lacking, that you are void and missing something, be it meaning, purpose or something else.
I don’t feel empty but rather emptied out, I feel like space has been created inside of me, the old and the bad has been scraped and swept of my heart and my inner soul.
This wasn’t something that occurred overnight, no, far from it. It began months back. It started with a bible devotional plan called “Dangerous Prayers”. When I stumbled upon this plan I was in a state of chaos, confusion and a whole lot of things. I was searching therefore adding more and more things in me in a hope to “fix” things.
I don’t know if I actually had any expectations from this, I know a part of me just hoped to learn to pray more and hopefully God will show me how to “make” the chaos that was my life perfect. Nothing about that journey was introspective.
But what came of it was weeks of God revealing thing after thing in my life that need to go. I believed I needed to find a way and possibly strength to fix the externals of my life, but God said no, you need to fix the insides first.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says “if anyone is in Christ the new creation has come, the old is gone and the new is here” NIV
I have always understood that as I grow in my journey with God, I have to be a new creation. I had not before considered what happens to the old?
See I think most people, like me, what they do is just try to bring the new in whilst the old is there, we keep it there and just pile the “new” on top of the old.
I set out to study this scripture. As i always do I look into the scripture in King James Version before anything else and here is what it says
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things are passed away; behold old things are become new”
1. Whilst the NIV speaks of it in absolute completeness, the KJV speaks of this as a continuous process. You don’t give your life to God and instantly you are a new person. How many of us can testify to being in church and really feeling the message but by Tuesday life is just the same as last week? No it’s a process, old things are being passed away, they are moving out now that you are in Christ.
2. The second part of the scripture gives us more information of how you have become new. Contrary to what I thought you aren’t just putting new things in you, nor are you just throwing the old things away…the old is becoming new…
Paul tells us in Romans 12:2 that we are transformed by “the renewing of our mind,” and the renewing is not just for the sake of self-development and not even for sake or process of becoming new, we are renewed so that “we will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will”
In order for us to be in a position to test the Will of God, or even want to test is, the bible tells us we have to be concerned first about his kingdom, it further tells us that where our treasure is, that is the thing we are more concerned about, there our heart is.
So…process of transformation starts first with our heart.
The bible plan had a lot of emphasis on “searching” allowing God to search your heart. David ask God quite frequently to search him,
“search me God and know my heart…see if there is any offensive way in me, lead me in the way ever lasting” (Psalm 139:23)
God searched me, transformed my mind, my habits and my heart. Uncomfortable process which required me to be vulnerable and be willing to acknowledge my short comings and as he is leading me in the way everlasting, what followed the searching was discarding, discarding patterns of the world, unhelpful habits, limiting thoughts…
Leaving me emptied out, not empty, not lacking but open for more, and having space for all that God has for me…
I can tell you now that’s not an easy place to be, and that will be my next post…..