My Testimony is my…But God

The journey of my redemption isn’t an awfully eventful one, I was not found almost dead, I hadn’t lost everything to the point of eating dusk.

No my story of redemption began in my bedroom, laying in my bed cursing morning sickness whilst at the same time enjoying the baby kick, my oldest daughter having just been picked up by her driver and probably already at school.

So there I was trying hard to control my desire to let the contents of my stomach out, and I hear God say, ‘that child is destined for ministry’ I don’t particularly believe I knew what that meant nor do I understand it now. All I know is after that day I began wondering what my purpose really is, what kind of parent do I want to be and whether I could support my children and not hinder them.

The story of my redemption began with me feeling like I missed my boat, I missed my chance but my kids haven’t and they need the best possible chance to find that purpose for their life. I didn’t know what my child being in ministry meant but I knew I didn’t want to be standing in the way…so little by little I made changes to my life for their benefit.

While it started as a selfless act it hasn’t always been that. There was a point where I started wanting it for myself, thinking about how I’m treating myself and what I want for my self. And it all started with doing basic yoga whilst listening to proverbs each evening.

Redemption is not an easy road to walk on. It’s a journey I don’t think we ever finish. I’m on it, everyday. The thing I have noticed the most in this journey is that God has never left my side. That at every stage of my life, in all my darkest valleys, low points, self destructive seasons and sin filled days, God was with me, and because of this my testimony is my But God…

I was a young foolish girl engaged in sexual immorality and struggling with sexual and porn addiction BUT GOD….

saved me from death, from disease, from depression and suicide. He saved me because it could have gone so bad.

I was a young girl caught up in alcohol, intoxicated and finding creative ways to consume alcohol whenever and wherever BUT GOD

delivered me from the addiction, saved me from death, protected me from harm.He was there and he saved me because so many things could have gone wrong in every single one of those days I was drunk and alone(mostly)

I was a young girl caught up in bad attitude and selfish self fulfilling behaviour BUT GOD…

called me, pulled me closer and made his presence known, in his own way never gave up on his purpose for my life. I could have gone so far off track…

BUT GOD

The word of God says that his promises never fail, you cannot alter his purpose and his plans for your life, and his timing is never wrong

My past, my testimony is and will always be my BUT GOD, evidence of his grace his mercy and his love.

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