Finding my roots

I have to say I’m loving this new arrangement. I always have ideas of what to write about but not the time, then by the time I do have time I have totally forgotten, so whenever I get an idea I write up the blog post and leave it as a draft. I have closure issues, I never start something and not finish it…

Anyway, roots, I’m a roots person always have been, I remember growing up and struggling because I didn’t have enough grounding me. As a child and teenager for me that looked more like family than anything else. And much like most things I got to a point where I wanted to just follow the pack, ‘roots? what roots? Who wants to be grounded? I’m a free spirit.’

I did it pretty well to be honest but it wasn’t me. I remember even more vividly, LF telling me she thinks I want stability, I was offended, wondering how she even got to think that. But she was right, I want stability, for me, being a free spirit can be rather exhausting.

But what does being grounded really mean. I guess for me it means being at a place where I’m settled, in my heart, in my personal life such that all I’m pursuing is the satisfaction in my heart and the well-being of my family. So maybe in short being grounded means having that purpose and knowing that every move i make in life is in pursuit of that purpose, ‘having a house fully built and all I do is make sure it’s warm and fuzzy’

And for me that purpose has become my kids but more importantly touching other people’s heart in a way that they can’t, and for me my career does that, I have to do a post on this some other time. But everyday I work I feel like I’m doing exactly what I need to, I’m fulfilled. So I guess that’s the easy part, well until I can get my dream position, small firm I can stay in long term.

The kids part has become the challenging part. I love my girls with all my heart and they are the easiest set of kids to have, but I just want to give them the world, not spoil them but help them. I believe until such a time I can have a house they can call a home for the long term, a good Christian school they can attend to, a community to be their safety nest then and only then will I feel grounded, and settled.
I guess ultimately I have found my roots, I just need to plant them, I’m so happy and excited about the opportunity and possibility that I actually may have made it, I feel like i spent my whole life searching for this exact feeling….

Indeed the road less traveled has the most fruits…

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